You just never know when a seemingly unimportant circumstance
begins a chain of events that leads to a totally unexpected and very significant
outcome, often many years later. It
makes you wonder if the outcome is just a starting point for another adventure
down the road. It also makes you
appreciate the journey and triggers cherished memories gathered along the way. And the lessons you learn in reviewing the
path are often quite profound.
When my wife and I packed our oldest son up to move away to
college twelve years ago, we never realized how far that short three mile trip
would become. Sure, Jason could have
lived at home, but Chris and I felt strongly that one of the most important
aspects of the college experience is independence. It prepares young adults for the real world
after college, and if you’re lucky, the taste of independence is enough to keep
them from returning to the roost. I affectionately
referred to Jason’s last dorm as a halfway house.
While at college, Jason, who had always shown a strong
interest and aptitude in languages, decided to pursue Japanese and study the
Asian culture. His studies led him to
spend a semester in Japan, and upon graduation, to teach English in Japan for
two years under a government sponsored program.
He came home for a few months, but decided to go back and pursue other
interests, one of whom he married last spring in a fascinating Shinto wedding
ceremony at a shrine in southern Japan.
Soon after Chris and I returned from Jason and Fumi’s
wedding, a chance email to a new acquaintance in a global company led to a
life-changing opportunity. I had emailed
the person, who knew that I was between engagements, that I was “…back from
Japan and rarin’ to go!” It turned out
that an opportunity for a position in Asia had just landed on his desk, and my
credentials were just right, so he introduced me to his Asian counterparts.
Before I knew it, I was offered a three to six month
assignment in Singapore. Since I’d never
been away from home for more than a couple of weeks, and had never been apart
from my wife for more than about a week, the prospect of being away so long was
daunting. I’d also never been out of the
US for anything other than vacations. But
the opportunity was tremendous, and as my wife put it, “Well, we’re getting to
an age where one of us will most likely wind up living alone, so this will be
good practice!” Now who could argue with
that?
So off I flew to Singapore, a land I’d never expected to
visit, and about which I knew very little.
While I’d spent my life as a member of the majority, I found myself
firmly in the minority…along with several million others. Fortunately for me, English is one of four
official languages, and the population is an incredible blend of global
cultures, with strong Asian seasoning. The
Singapore English dialect is an interesting blend of Asian and English
pronunciations, with the cadence and staccato of Chinese and the complexity of
English with all its homonyms and rules variations.
I’ve learned a little bit of a new language, Singlish, which
blends Asian and English words and forms new ones as colloquialisms. I learned a phrase early from a cab driver –
“No catch ball,” which means, “I don’t understand.” Eventually, I came up with my own term, which
I guess makes it Engaporean – “Say ‘gen?” which means, “Please say it again,
because I didn’t understand the first time.”
It’s very handy.
I’ve been told that of all the places in Asia to be an
ex-patriot, Singapore is the best – it’s referred to as Asia Light. The Asian cultures and the Western
commercial/industrial influences meld into a cauldron that is at once both
familiar and nascent. The high energy
level work ethic that results is amazing.
Acknowledging the strong religious elements in the country, Singapore’s
holiday calendar recognizes Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and Christian holidays.
The time difference between Singapore and the east coast of
the US is 12 hours during daylight savings time and 13 hours during standard
time, with Singapore being ahead. It
makes it easy to calculate what time it is in either place, but communicating
is a bit of a challenge, as finding convenient windows of time for people on
both ends, especially for people with busy calendars, can be quite a
chore. It can be fun, though. I called my wife one day at work, and someone
else answered. I told her that I was
Chris’s husband and that I was calling from the future!
There are fewer places on earth where you can feel as safe
and secure as you do in Singapore. Even
in the downtown areas, where crowds are commonplace, there is very little
concern about crime, and in most small business places, which are everywhere,
you clearly feel the honesty and integrity of the proprietors.
Arguably the best way to get around is by mass transit. For a country of about 275 square miles and
5.5 million inhabitants, the subway/rail system carries about 2.8 million
riders per day. The commercial bus
system carries about 3.6 million. The
roadways at rush hour are choked with all types of vehicles, and swarms of “skeeter”cycles
drive at full speed between the lanes, dodging mirrors and elbows along the
way.
An interesting manifestation of the high population density
is the mountainous high rise communities that result, and the foothills of
shopping and restaurants that lie at their bases. With so many people living in a relatively
small footprint, there are shopping malls and grocery stores every few
blocks. Although there are crowds and
crowded areas, it really doesn’t feel like there are 5.5 million residents plus
a large number of daily visitors. That’s
due, in part, to the vertical living arrangements. But there’s another city underground in some
areas. One day, I went into a shopping
mall, and followed signs to more shopping.
Before long, I’d found underground connections to four other shopping
malls that I surfaced in, and had traveled about three quarters of a mile alongside
the Singapore River in what came to be known as my gopher tour of Singapore.
In one area along the Singapore River, there are probably
500 or more restaurants within a half mile stretch. The offerings range from Asian to European to
Mexican, with common American restaurant and fast food haunts well represented.
An informative sign in Clarke Quay shows
a map and a list of its 77 establishments – that’s 75 restaurants and 2
“Other!”
An intriguing aspect of the crowds is that virtually half of
all pedestrians seem to be engrossed in their cellphones and oblivious to
everything around them, raptly engaged in conversation, texting, game playing,
or movie watching, but they somehow seem to make their way without bumping into
one another or stepping into harm’s way.
With the dual threat of drivers driving on the left and no apparent
pedestrian rights of way, I’ve chosen not to participate in this ritual.
One thing that’s taken some getting used to is the Asian naming
convention. Most Westerners use their
family name as the last name in the sequence.
Many Asians use the first name in the sequence as their family
name. In addition, many Asians have a
two part personal name. Adding to the
confusion, in the US at least, the family name is referred to as the “last
name,” which is contrary to the Asian convention. The personal name is often referred to as a
“given” name, which literally applies to almost every part of a person’s name
because someone gave it to them. A
number of Asians, though, have adopted Western names just to make it easier for
people like me to figure out what to call them. I thank them for that. But aside from knowing what to call people,
getting them to follow instructions for filling out (or “filling up” as
Singaporeans say) US designed forms that require Last Name/First Name or Given
Name can be quite a challenge.
I’ve only met a few dozen of the millions I’ve encountered
over the past six months, but they’ve been among the kindest and most generous
people I’ve met. Lavish in their praise,
and appreciative of the smallest of gestures, they inspire a level of goodwill
that, if it’s representative of the entire country, could transform the world. As my new friends have made me feel at home
in Singapore, I hope to have the opportunity to welcome them to my home in the
US someday.
The journey has been incredibly interesting and culturally
enlightening, and the past six months have taught me so much. I’ve learned how to fend for myself, how to
survive on a diet of chicken nuggets and rice, how to get almost anywhere using
mass transit, and how to understand a new language. I’ve also learned how wonderful people in other
parts of the world are, and how surprisingly comfortable you can feel in a
foreign land, a lesson my son obviously learned many years ago and passed on to
me along with his sense of adventure, in a sort of reverse heredity. I’ll always cherish the memories I have of
Singapore, and hope that I’ve left behind a few good memories of my own.
