Making Connections

You just never know when a seemingly unimportant circumstance begins a chain of events that leads to a totally unexpected and very significant outcome, often many years later.  It makes you wonder if the outcome is just a starting point for another adventure down the road.  It also makes you appreciate the journey and triggers cherished memories gathered along the way.  And the lessons you learn in reviewing the path are often quite profound.

When my wife and I packed our oldest son up to move away to college twelve years ago, we never realized how far that short three mile trip would become.  Sure, Jason could have lived at home, but Chris and I felt strongly that one of the most important aspects of the college experience is independence.  It prepares young adults for the real world after college, and if you’re lucky, the taste of independence is enough to keep them from returning to the roost.  I affectionately referred to Jason’s last dorm as a halfway house.

While at college, Jason, who had always shown a strong interest and aptitude in languages, decided to pursue Japanese and study the Asian culture.  His studies led him to spend a semester in Japan, and upon graduation, to teach English in Japan for two years under a government sponsored program.  He came home for a few months, but decided to go back and pursue other interests, one of whom he married last spring in a fascinating Shinto wedding ceremony at a shrine in southern Japan.

Soon after Chris and I returned from Jason and Fumi’s wedding, a chance email to a new acquaintance in a global company led to a life-changing opportunity.  I had emailed the person, who knew that I was between engagements, that I was “…back from Japan and rarin’ to go!”  It turned out that an opportunity for a position in Asia had just landed on his desk, and my credentials were just right, so he introduced me to his Asian counterparts.

Before I knew it, I was offered a three to six month assignment in Singapore.  Since I’d never been away from home for more than a couple of weeks, and had never been apart from my wife for more than about a week, the prospect of being away so long was daunting.  I’d also never been out of the US for anything other than vacations.  But the opportunity was tremendous, and as my wife put it, “Well, we’re getting to an age where one of us will most likely wind up living alone, so this will be good practice!”  Now who could argue with that?

So off I flew to Singapore, a land I’d never expected to visit, and about which I knew very little.  While I’d spent my life as a member of the majority, I found myself firmly in the minority…along with several million others.  Fortunately for me, English is one of four official languages, and the population is an incredible blend of global cultures, with strong Asian seasoning.  The Singapore English dialect is an interesting blend of Asian and English pronunciations, with the cadence and staccato of Chinese and the complexity of English with all its homonyms and rules variations.

I’ve learned a little bit of a new language, Singlish, which blends Asian and English words and forms new ones as colloquialisms.  I learned a phrase early from a cab driver – “No catch ball,” which means, “I don’t understand.”  Eventually, I came up with my own term, which I guess makes it Engaporean – “Say ‘gen?” which means, “Please say it again, because I didn’t understand the first time.”  It’s very handy.

I’ve been told that of all the places in Asia to be an ex-patriot, Singapore is the best – it’s referred to as Asia Light.  The Asian cultures and the Western commercial/industrial influences meld into a cauldron that is at once both familiar and nascent.  The high energy level work ethic that results is amazing.  Acknowledging the strong religious elements in the country, Singapore’s holiday calendar recognizes Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and Christian holidays.

The time difference between Singapore and the east coast of the US is 12 hours during daylight savings time and 13 hours during standard time, with Singapore being ahead.  It makes it easy to calculate what time it is in either place, but communicating is a bit of a challenge, as finding convenient windows of time for people on both ends, especially for people with busy calendars, can be quite a chore.  It can be fun, though.  I called my wife one day at work, and someone else answered.  I told her that I was Chris’s husband and that I was calling from the future!

There are fewer places on earth where you can feel as safe and secure as you do in Singapore.  Even in the downtown areas, where crowds are commonplace, there is very little concern about crime, and in most small business places, which are everywhere, you clearly feel the honesty and integrity of the proprietors.

Arguably the best way to get around is by mass transit.  For a country of about 275 square miles and 5.5 million inhabitants, the subway/rail system carries about 2.8 million riders per day.  The commercial bus system carries about 3.6 million.  The roadways at rush hour are choked with all types of vehicles, and swarms of “skeeter”cycles drive at full speed between the lanes, dodging mirrors and elbows along the way.

An interesting manifestation of the high population density is the mountainous high rise communities that result, and the foothills of shopping and restaurants that lie at their bases.  With so many people living in a relatively small footprint, there are shopping malls and grocery stores every few blocks.  Although there are crowds and crowded areas, it really doesn’t feel like there are 5.5 million residents plus a large number of daily visitors.  That’s due, in part, to the vertical living arrangements.  But there’s another city underground in some areas.  One day, I went into a shopping mall, and followed signs to more shopping.  Before long, I’d found underground connections to four other shopping malls that I surfaced in, and had traveled about three quarters of a mile alongside the Singapore River in what came to be known as my gopher tour of Singapore.

In one area along the Singapore River, there are probably 500 or more restaurants within a half mile stretch.  The offerings range from Asian to European to Mexican, with common American restaurant and fast food haunts well represented.  An informative sign in Clarke Quay shows a map and a list of its 77 establishments – that’s 75 restaurants and 2 “Other!”

An intriguing aspect of the crowds is that virtually half of all pedestrians seem to be engrossed in their cellphones and oblivious to everything around them, raptly engaged in conversation, texting, game playing, or movie watching, but they somehow seem to make their way without bumping into one another or stepping into harm’s way.  With the dual threat of drivers driving on the left and no apparent pedestrian rights of way, I’ve chosen not to participate in this ritual.

One thing that’s taken some getting used to is the Asian naming convention.  Most Westerners use their family name as the last name in the sequence.  Many Asians use the first name in the sequence as their family name.  In addition, many Asians have a two part personal name.  Adding to the confusion, in the US at least, the family name is referred to as the “last name,” which is contrary to the Asian convention.  The personal name is often referred to as a “given” name, which literally applies to almost every part of a person’s name because someone gave it to them.  A number of Asians, though, have adopted Western names just to make it easier for people like me to figure out what to call them. I thank them for that.  But aside from knowing what to call people, getting them to follow instructions for filling out (or “filling up” as Singaporeans say) US designed forms that require Last Name/First Name or Given Name can be quite a challenge.

I’ve only met a few dozen of the millions I’ve encountered over the past six months, but they’ve been among the kindest and most generous people I’ve met.  Lavish in their praise, and appreciative of the smallest of gestures, they inspire a level of goodwill that, if it’s representative of the entire country, could transform the world.  As my new friends have made me feel at home in Singapore, I hope to have the opportunity to welcome them to my home in the US someday.

The journey has been incredibly interesting and culturally enlightening, and the past six months have taught me so much.  I’ve learned how to fend for myself, how to survive on a diet of chicken nuggets and rice, how to get almost anywhere using mass transit, and how to understand a new language.  I’ve also learned how wonderful people in other parts of the world are, and how surprisingly comfortable you can feel in a foreign land, a lesson my son obviously learned many years ago and passed on to me along with his sense of adventure, in a sort of reverse heredity.  I’ll always cherish the memories I have of Singapore, and hope that I’ve left behind a few good memories of my own.